What is Joy?
Most of the Shamanic Breathwork workshops that I facilitate have a theme. Not that they need to, since each participant brings their own theme and intentions regardless of what I have cooked up. Deciding on the theme is usually a combination of what I am working on personally and would like to continue diving into, whatever is up for the co-facilitator, and what comes from us discussing what is just under the surface in the collective conscious.
The theme of the next in-person workshop is Surfacing Joy, so joy has been on my mind a lot lately. One might assume that to have the title means that I have already done what it took to work it through. At least that is how I would have expected it to happen before I got into this work. But no, the theme arises, sometimes with only a little understanding why, and then I get to work exploring, meditating, researching, and doing my own journeys into it. Often, material will come my way while I am working on it. It has happened several times that This Jungian Life or The Emerald have released podcasts that are right in sync with the workshop theme. It happened the evening after writing the previous sentence as I listened to the audiobook version of There Is No Other. Journaling and writing help gather it up as well.
So, what is joy?
I invite you to consider how you would describe or define it before reading on.
We say the word, but what does it mean? Is it somewhat difficult to explain what joy is in words? I found that it was, but here is where I am at with it as of this writing.
I know joy feels good. I can only experience it when I am being present in the moment. There is a lightness of my heart and mind. The feeling is way better than things being "ok", but things being ok in that moment is part of it. It is not the absence of emotions that feel bad. In fact, joy can still be felt while simultaneously feeling fear, grief, or even anger. The degree to which it is easy to feel joy can tell me if I am on the path my soul wants, taking the right action, or connecting with a life-affirming group or person. It is a compass needle. It is a perk of being alive. It is the feeling of being fully alive and feeling fully who I really am.
Joy is different from happiness. They may have similar characteristics, and they both feel good. Happiness, in general, comes from an outside circumstance. Joy comes from some place within me. Seeing my children learn to drive and become good drivers makes me happy. Knowing that they learned a new skill, faced a challenge and overcame it, or imagining them on a summer road trip with friends brings joy.
Another difference, I feel, is that happiness comes and goes with those external conditions, and joy is always present. Whether I am allowing joy, and not holding it down or defending against it, is yet another thing.
I became quite skilled at holding down my joy at an early age, like I suppose many in our culture do. Here are a couple of reasons I was able to get good at it:
It was not “cool” to be joyful. I have a memory of climbing the stairs in the school bus, going home from my first day as a freshman. I was having a lot of fun and feeling a lot of joy as I got on the bus with my best friend. We were carefree, innocent, and playing around. As I came up to the level of the seats, an upper-class boy that I knew and respected was already on the bus. He shot me a look that I interpreted as “no more of that.” I shut down joy on the spot.
“Society” taught me that happiness is better than joy. You can market and sell happiness (external conditions), but not joy. I am more economically “productive” when I am chasing happiness. Joy cannot be chased.
There were many times in my life when I did not believe that I deserved to feel joy. I saw it as a reward for being a better person than I thought I was.
Suppressing any emotion means I am suppressing all emotions. All the times I have suppressed my anger, I was also saying no to joy. I block joy when I do not feel the other emotions that are asking for my recognition and attention. Joy will not step in front of unfelt anger, grief, sadness, shame, jealousy, disgust, gratitude, or love.
I have come to believe that joy is ever-present, innate, and is our natural state. It is within me whether I allow it or deny it. Perhaps joy comes straight from the soul. I can ignore my soul; however, it is always patiently waiting for me to answer its knock on the door.
One of the ways that I have been working with this is to pause and ask myself, “Could I choose (or allow) joy in the moment?” in different situations. Landing on “could I?” rather than “should I?” or “do I?” has been helpful. I have tried asking myself this question in a variety of situations, some of which were not what I would consider happy moments. Most every time, the answer that came was “yes”. That didn’t mean that joy surfaced every time, but often it did. A surprising number of times. A few times, it was reassuring to just know that it could.
I believe what has made this possible is getting better at welcoming all of my emotions. Acknowledging, being curious, and asking what their message is. Asking if they are a messenger for a deeper emotion.
If you also want to allow and feel more joy, I have found that Shamanic Breathwork is an excellent method for welcoming and moving through emotions - ones that are stuck and ones that not consciously known to be held in the body.
Did this exploration of joy differ from what you have found, experienced, or believe? Do you have a different take on joy? Let me know how it does (or doesn’t)! Feel free to send me an email, DM me on Instagram or Facebook, or give me a call.
Joy is waiting to surface.
I wish for you a joyful winter holiday season, a magical Winter Solstice, and good health.
May our lives be a blessing to Mother Earth.
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If you have worked with me in the past in a way that benefited you in some way, and would be willing to share a testimonial that I can add to my website, social media posts, etc, please leave one here. I very much appreciate you sharing with those considering joining future workshops. My hope is that it will help others determine if working with me would be beneficial for them as well. Thank you!
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Last year's retreat was very powerful! I am so excited to be a part of this retreat again this year and to be back at Aldea Maya Ha! See a video tour of it here. Each time I return to the Yucatan, I fall further in love with the land, the ocean and the people. Our friend Adrián Xopan will be pouring the temazcal again this year! More here.
I would be happy to set up a short call to answer questions and share my experiences.