Making Space For Growth
I am very grateful that in this life, I can grow and change. I am talking about changes in my thinking, perception, mental state, spiritual exploration, sense of wellbeing, etc, that lead to more joy, happiness, and physical and mental health. Changes that help me be more of who I really am and feel more free and in love with this life and the place where I am living it.
Anyone and everyone can change and grow. Please allow me to share some from my experience. TLDR: this is a pitch for starting or continuing a daily practice.
I often long for growth of the “quantum leap” type - a gain or lesson learned that delivers me further down the road in a single bound. I have experienced these, and possibly knowing that they can happen leads to wanting more of them, even if I know that they might require a larger effort. Other ways to refer to these would be “leveling up”, a breakthrough, or a paradigm shift. The trick with this time of change is that you cannot cause it or predict when they will happen.
What has allowed for more growth for me over time is the consistent and frequent repetition of practice, ceremony, ritual, and sometimes simple showing up. These are things I can control. Small daily or otherwise frequent steps may not appear to be a step at all. Only after looking back after prolonged continuation, I see the progress. This type of growth is not often deemed as being “sexy”.
In the past, I would strive to achieve gains because I thought there was something wrong with me. Or, I thought some part of me was broken or damaged. Recently, a gain that I have been working on is to shift towards working on myself because it feels good to grow, and because growing is what my soul came here to do. Starting from a place of accepting who/how I am in this moment, I am doing the things that my future self will be glad that I did. Part of accepting myself is accepting that I can create new versions of myself.
I will take a quantum leap if I can get one. It can feel quite dramatic and fulfilling to have them. My quantum leap gains have come mainly from either a time of peak suffering, exhausted surrender (I no longer had the strength to hold on to something), or by surprise. The surprises came when I was fully participating in ceremony and not focusing on the outcome of the ceremony. One example is the burial ceremony at Wildman in 2019, where a major aspect of who I thought I was stayed in the ground after I came out of the grave. You can read the story here if you like.
These big shifts can be, but are not always, very dramatic and unpredictable. Seeing that I can really enjoy drama, and sometimes depend on it to shock myself into living/feeling more deeply, has been interesting to witness vis-à-vis transformation.
In contrast, small steps are the actions I take daily, weekly or even a couple of times a year. While these actions can feel minor and repetitive, the benefits stack, if not compound.
My daily practice takes between 3 minutes and an hour a day, depending on what else is going on. Every once in a awhile I will have a big epiphany or realization while doing my practice, but mostly it is a tick on the second hand of the clock of my life. I almost always feel better after I finish than when I started, and on the rare occasion I miss it, I really miss it.
While each session does not seem at the time like a step forward, when I look back at the growth that I have experienced and the (relative) calm in my being, I can attribute my practice as a main catalyst for the change that I have experienced.
If you have a daily practice, I invite you to reflect on what you have learned from it and how you might be different due to having maintained your practice. If you have suggestions to add to the example elements I list below, please shoot me a message!
If you do not have one and would like to start one, I will offer three things to consider: elements to consider including, having variations to suit your schedule and available time, and some way to develop a habit. If you would like to have help putting together a practice, reach out and let’s talk!
I don’t think there is a “right” way to do a practice, but as a starting framework, consider including 1) moving the body, 2) working with the breath, 3) vocalizing, and 4) listening. There are many things that could fit each of these. Some examples:
Moving the body: dancing, stretching, tapping, Tai Chi, Qi Gong, yoga, calisthenics, walking, shaking.
Working with the breath: deep inhales and exhales, box breathing, pranayama, Wim Hof, Shamanic Breathwork.
Vocalizing: singing, chanting, reciting poetry, reading out loud from an important/sacred text, speaking affirmations, expressing gratitude, and prayer.
Listening: sitting in awareness of the internal state, meditation, listening to music with full attention, awareness of sounds around you, listening to poetry or a reading from an important/sacred text. (Sorry, no Instagram Reels!)
Journaling is another great element to include, you could add on to the above or could cover vocalizing and/or listening.
If I have time, a “full” session for me includes a longer duration or a couple of elements from the examples I gave above. When I have less time, I have “express versions”, with the shortest being 2-3 minutes that might look like this:
Hops, taps, and a few seconds of Qi Gong spinal twists before sitting down.
3 deep/full breaths - filling the belly, the chest, and into the shoulders
Saying out loud, “Thank you for my life. Bless this day.”
Pause and listen within for a few moments
Even this short version makes a difference over time. And it helps me keep my “streak” or habit going. I heard once that when a famous comedian was starting in comedy, he had a calendar that he put a red X on each day that he wrote jokes. Seeing the chain of red Xs motivated him to keep going every day. I need methods like this to overcome sabotage from the parts of me that would like to give up on what the truer me knows is good for me.
Maria introduced me to an app called Finch Care, which I have found useful for maintaining consistency on small things I would like to do every day, such as taking a stretch break in the afternoons. Finch might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but there are others out there, such as Habitica. If we are going to have these phones, they should not live rent-free!
A daily practice opens the door for quantum leaps to be possible. They help build a foundation so that when we do Shamanic Breathwork or attend a retreat, we are more ready to handle expansion and growth.
Whether you have a daily practice or not, I invite you to our Beauty and Power of the Yucatan Retreat in February and to a half-day Shamanic Breathwork Workshop in January, details below. I have seen from experience that they both are spaces where quantum leaps have happened!
Thank you for reading!
Stay curious!