Ritual and Ceremony
I returned recently from the Wildman Gathering in the mountains of North Carolina. 34 men gathered for ritual, ceremony, brotherhood, healing, reclaiming, remembering, and fun. The Earth ceremony on Friday night, deep in the forest, allowed us to discover what we were pushing against, what we were pulling closer, reaching for, and how we could lean into support. The Air ceremony Saturday morning took us on a journey to feel more deeply into our discoveries revealed the prior night. In that evening’s Fire ceremony, we sang ourselves into our inner worlds, to see past illusions that kept us from being whole. On our final day, we entered the water so that it could wash away what was left of resistance and what was not ours to carry.
After that experience, returning to the non-wild world can be shocking and tumultuous. How do I proceed in a good way with the changes that have occurred in me by participating in these rituals? That became the question to circumambulate.
After I unpacked (a critical re-entry process for me to feel at home) and shared some with my daughter, I embarked on catching up on mundane tasks while listening to a podcast. Among the many in my queue, the one that jumped out at me was This Jungian Life’s Ritual: Finding the Center in a Turning World. Guest Bruce Feiler discusses his most recent book A Time to Gather: How Ritual Created the World—and How It Can Save Us. I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation and reflection on what ritual is and how it is helpful, especially after just witnessing the power of it both visually and somatically.
Every religion and every culture has them, named or unnamed. I certainly have partaken in ritual unaware that it was one. They can be updated, renewed, created, combined with others of the same purpose, forgotten, and made taboo or “old-fashioned.”
Feiler defines ritual as “a shared, unnecessary act that makes us feel at home.” I loved the succinctness of this definition. He adds: “It’s the glue that holds society together. I’ve started calling it the original human algorithm. It’s a mechanism by which the group tends itself.” As for "unnecessary acts”, this makes complete sense from the base levels of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, but as we go up to the higher levels, these acts become more and more necessary.
There are many kinds of rituals, new and very, very old. I am experimenting with the idea, based on my experiences, that there are two main types. First, rituals of place, or locating oneself within a place. These include celebrations, connecting with the land, bringing the self to the present moment, and others. Then there are rituals of transitions, a subset of which are called rites of passage or initiation. One type aligns the self with a location, state, feeling, or time. The other acts to relocate the self through a threshold from one location, state, or time to another, or move through a feeling or emotion.
“Calling in the directions” (a ritual of place) isn’t necessary to bake a good loaf of bread (physiological level on the Hierarchy of Needs). In my life, I have recovered from the flu without a fire ritual (safety level). I have friendships that have lasted 52 years without becoming “blood brothers” (Love/Belonging). Not that any of those wouldn’t have helped or made the experience more fulfilling. But I don’t think I have leveled up my confidence (Esteem) once without some sort of ritual of transition, be it consciously conceived (example from a past newsletter is here) or not. It seems that above this line, ritual becomes a necessity.
A ceremony could be thought of as a collection of rituals: rituals of gathering and opening the ceremony, rituals of connection and creating safety, the ritual(s) that are the main purpose of the ceremony, and completion, closing, and dispersing rituals. Often, the rituals that open and close the ceremony are familiar or similar. Many can be used as-is in other ceremonies.
Rituals can be created to serve specific purposes or needs - if they include the symbolism that speaks to the soul and subconscious. A few years ago, during meditation, I received a visual of rose petals floating down a stream. I felt this was guidance from my guides (also known as spirit guides, helpers, angels, etc). I asked friends if anyone had roses in bloom - one did. At their house, I left an offering and cut one rose. They let me know about a nearby park with a stream. I held a short ceremony with an opening ritual and released the petals into the water as I thought about what I wanted to let go of as a ritual of transition. I closed it with gratitude and a closing ritual. In all, it probably took 20-30 minutes. I felt different as I walked back. I don’t have a control group, but the feeling of change was proof enough to me.
Co-creating the Earth Ceremony at Wildman, this one containing rituals of place, with James Mayfield Smith took a couple of sessions together. We started with a ritual that we have used in past years. It did not exactly fit the function we were looking for in both purpose and intensity. So we re-focused on our intention for what we hoped the men would leave with, felt into that somatically, and then discussed, dreamed, and let different parts of ourselves be creative. We played with it in back-and-forth creative turns until we discovered the final result. We came up with a totally new ceremony with 5-6 major parts that felt apropos. We were not sure if it would work, but it felt like it would. When it was time for the ceremony, and the men started working with the first couple sets of instructions, I felt like we had stepped through magic. We could have stuck with the “tried and true” from past years, but we ended up with something much more in touch with the theme for the weekend: allowing the men to be in sacred inner space.
There are whole books written on ritual, ceremony, and rites of passage. I have a few on my bookshelf. Let me know if you want to discuss or borrow a book or two. My intention here is to lay out some starting points and some questions before you, in hopes that it might spark, inspire, call, or feed you in some way that helps you know where you are and where you are longing to take yourself. I invite you to ask yourself;
Where do I have rituals in my daily life, and are they serving me in their current form?
Where do I need more or different rituals in my life? If yes, what type?
Can we continue as a species and culture with a lack of rites of passage and initiation, especially for our youth? If not, do we find old ones, create new ones, or both?
How can I share ritual and ceremony with others?
Does ritual need to be long or complicated to be effective and meaningful?
How can I use symbols and symbolism to speak to my soul?
Would it be helpful to participate in different ceremonies to see what works well for me?
I would love it if you want to share or discuss any answers to the questions above.
Please join me in ceremony!